September 21, 2025. A Tinker's Cuss – Fixing to Die.

I rasp rather than breathe these days. I can feel death closing in on me.

Last night, a quadriplegic fell out of bed here in the Respite Centre. He screamed in pain for what must have been a half hour before anyone noticed. His howling had gone unheard above the crying of the inmates who were deeply disturbed at a rugby game on the TV. There was a lot of crying.

The inmates here are pretty good. They've done their fighting, and now most of them are fixing to die. To me, dying is a simple proposition and not half as scary as it once may have seemed.

I've had a good life. I have very few regrets, none that keep me awake at night.

I've met Johnny Winter and read him a James K. Baxter poem from a poster. It's as if these two dudes met in the middle. "Man, that cat can write," is what Johnny Winter said of James K. Baxter.

I've met the woman who wrote Eat, Pray, Love and introduced her to the writings of Janet Frame.

I saw The Who live in concert in Atlantic City about eight years ago. Zak Starkey was the drummer at that time, and in my opinion, he is the best drummer in the world.

I saw the band Yes live in concert in Melbourne in 1972 or '73.

I wore Levi jeans before anyone else wore them in Christchurch. In April 1974, I got my first pair of Lee jeans at Surf, Dive & Ski in Gloucester Street in Christchurch. Their fit was abnormal. Not long after, I was wearing a Schott Perfecto leather jacket.

In 1973, I cut open a safe from a chemist's shop in the South Brighton Plantation. My reward was dirty jeans and a top-level blow job. As I was cutting open the safe, Sharon's mother was trying to drag her away from me, but Sharon knew what was best for her.

When I was 16, I owned a 1939 Ford V8.

The best thing about it all is that I've had some mighty good friends, and we have laughed a lot, knowing full well that life is but a joke.

I have had many great dogs. At the time of writing, I have a Bichon Frise called Robert Johnson and a Doberman called Annie. Each of them knows more about love than Carly Simon.

Should I go to Heaven, I won't be lonely, and should I go to Hell, I'll be even less lonely.

I have met some of the greatest liars on the planet. One of them was an actual business partner. I don't hate him, I don't dislike him; he is simply what he is. He can spin a magnificent yarn, and there is nothing that the world likes better than a tall tale.

Making your way out of the sludge pit is the most difficult thing in life. Just when you think you are doing really well, something extraordinary may happen, and you will slide back down to the beginning again.

Going to jail has been the most educational thing I have ever been through. Seeing men cry like that has opened a canister of love within me. I couldn't hate you if I tried.

Thank you to everyone who has read my blogs. Thank you to everyone who has loved Phantom Billstickers.

And especially, thank you to everyone who gets up out of bed every morning and decides to walk a straight line.